There’s an old expression, “The Devil is in the details”. You might spend hours, days, or months slaving over a legal pad trying to replicate your deepest thoughts and feelings, but if you want to communicate effectively, you’ve got to PUT YOUR SONG IN MY SHOES! Make me feel like I’m going through the same or a parallel experience.

I often see well-intentioned lyrics where the narrator pours out his emotions to his beloved:

“And when I look into your eyes,
I get this feeling deep inside,
The funny little things you do,
They keep me so in love with you” ...

Maybe you wrote it for your best gal as a Valentine’s Day surprise. It’s sweet, but the images are all INTERNAL. These characters, events, and emotions are vivid in your mind -- you’ve lived and relived them over and over again. But I don’t live inside your head -- I live in the EXTERNAL world, and you can’t assume that I see and feel everything you do.

I need details! What did you see in her eyes? -- anger? ... a twinkle of romance? ... bloodshot? What did you feel deep inside? -- love? ... sorrow? ... acid reflux? What funny little things does she do? -- put love notes in your lunch box? …fart in bed? Don’t expect me to know all the quirky little things that make your relationship special; you’ve got to tell me -- better yet, show me -- through strong, visual, emotional lyrics. Try changing, “I look into your eyes” into something like:

- “I look into your ... sweet / laughing /sad / sexy / troubled / mysterious / crystal blue / deep brown / dark Cajon .... eyes”

or change, “ I get this feeling deep inside” to:

- “I feel ... so in love / blessed / like I’m falling in love for the first time”!

When you say something like, “I feel like I’m falling in love for the first time”, it creates a bridge between your story and my mental and emotional database -- the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings from my past. Our characters and settings might be different; you kissed Betty Lou under the tree in Little Rock; I made out with Rhonda in Brighten Beach, Brooklyn, but we can still relate to each other’s “Strawberry Wine” moment.

The moral to the story:

When you EXTERNALIZE your lyrics, you help the listener process the information INTERNALLY, making it his or her own.

If the Devil’s in the details, then GO OUT AND WRITE ONE HELL OF A SONG !

About Denny Sarokin:

Denny Sarokin had his first Top Ten hit as lead singer/guitarist/songwriter for Every Mother’s Son (“Come On Down To My Boat Baby”). As bandleader for Rick Nelson’s Stone Canyon Band, he wrote and arranged seven songs for Rick’s critically acclaimed “Windfall” and “Intakes” albums, as well as contributing four songs (including the title track) for "Legacy" - the Rick Nelson CD box collection. Another anthology, “Easy To Be Free - The Songs of Rick Nelson” features three of his songs, including his solo rendition of “One Night Stand”.

Denny wrote, arranged, and played guitar on “Sanibel”, the single (and only outside cut) off of, “Looking Forward”, the recent Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young reunion album. The song is also featured on his solo CD, “Bright As Babylon”, an eclectic collection of uplifting songs, ranging from country- rock to reggae.

He’s written, performed, and produced songs for TV and film soundtracks, including “Fast Times At Ridgemont High”, “Electric Horseman”, and “Stoker’s Ace”.

In addition to being a “regular” on the Nashville “writers-in-the-round” circuit, Denny also teaches private guitar lessons and workshops. Recently he’s condensed the best of his teaching techniques into a three hour DVD, “LICK*TIONARY-The Songwriters Guild to Great Guitar!” The DVD is designed to help songwriters and guitar players build a “technique toolbox” of hot licks, cool tricks and great grooves.

Visit www.dennysarokin.com for more information.

©2009, Further Communications